Estate Planning Isn’t About Preparing for Death. It’s About Preparing for Life.
Last night, I hosted another Between Generations conversation, this time with estate planning attorney John Spino, and one thing became very clear throughout the discussion: Most families are not avoiding estate planning because they don’t care. They’re avoiding it because they don’t know where to start.
Estate planning can sound intimidating. People hear words like probate, trusts, healthcare proxy, power of attorney, and immediately think: “We’ll deal with that later.”But “later” has a way of turning into “too late.”
One of the most important takeaways from the evening was this: The hardest time to make decisions is during a crisis.
When families don’t have conversations ahead of time, adult children are often left scrambling during medical emergencies, after a hospitalization, or following the loss of a parent. In many cases, they don’t know:
Where important documents are
Who has authority to make decisions
What their parents wanted
Whether there is even a will in place
And unfortunately, those situations can quickly become stressful, emotional, and complicated.
John reminded us that estate planning is not just for wealthy families. Every adult should have foundational documents in place, including:
A will
Durable power of attorney
Healthcare proxy
HIPAA authorization forms
Updated beneficiary designations
We also discussed something that surprises many families: Adding children to a home deed is not always the best solution and can create unintended tax consequences later on.
Another important conversation centered around capacity and timing. Estate planning becomes significantly more difficult once dementia or cognitive decline begins. Waiting too long can lead families into guardianship or conservatorship proceedings that are expensive, time consuming, and emotionally draining.
One question I asked during the session was: “If someone walked into their parents’ home tomorrow during a crisis, what documents should they know exist and where to find them?”
That question seemed to resonate deeply with people because many of us are quietly carrying the same concerns:
Are my parents prepared?
Have we talked about this?
Would I even know what to do?
Am I going to be left figuring this out in the middle of an emergency?
The truth is, avoiding the conversation doesn’t avoid the responsibility. It usually just transfers the stress to the people we love most.
That’s exactly why I created Between Generations — to create space for these conversations before families are forced into them during difficult moments.
These conversations are not about expecting the worst. They’re about creating clarity, reducing confusion, and helping families feel more prepared and supported.
If this is a conversation your family has been putting off, consider this your reminder to start small: Ask questions. Locate documents. Talk openly. Create a plan. Future you and your family will be grateful you did.
If you would like to connect with Attorney John Spino to discuss estate planning for yourself or your family, feel free to reach out and I’m happy to share his contact information.
If these are conversations you’re navigating with your own family, I invite you to join my Between Generations community and newsletter where I share resources, conversations, events, and guidance for adult children supporting aging parents and families through life transitions.
My goal is simple: help people feel more prepared, informed, and less alone in these conversations.
You can sign up here: https://annechatfield.myflodesk.com/betweengenerationsnews
That way you won’t miss future discussions, local events, expert conversations, and practical information designed to help families plan ahead with more clarity and confidence.
